Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
Randomize
