the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
Randomize