she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
Edward fifth and chaser hands
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
My breath smells like gin and sadness
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
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