Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
Randomize