i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
