After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize
