Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
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