How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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