in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
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we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
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I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
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