I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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