Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
Randomize