Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
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