Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
Watching her eat just hurts me
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Randomize
