Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Randomize
