remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
I have surprise drugs for everyone
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
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