I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
Randomize
