i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
