Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
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