it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Randomize
