Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
Randomize
