hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
Randomize
