I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
there was a trapeze. enough said
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
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