I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
Randomize