It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
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