a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
Randomize
