I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
Randomize
