i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
I don't deserve a penis
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
Randomize
