And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
Holy sore nipples Batman
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
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