so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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