My hand turned me down
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
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