That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
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