so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
Randomize
