why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
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