Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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