I can't open my eyes
Lol why not?
Because I have fat ankles and I'm drunk
I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
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