is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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