the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
Drunk dialed the ex last nigh; turns out I miss dialed. The stranger who answered played along and apologized for sleeping with my cousin. She sent me a txt this morning to let me know.
Kindest stranger ever. Marry that girl.
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
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