he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
So vagazzling was a success
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
Randomize
