I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
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