guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
Randomize
