Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
