that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
So vagazzling was a success
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
