I wanna passion pit in your ass
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
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