Please, let me fuck your mom
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
