Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
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Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
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