Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Randomize
