New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
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