He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
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I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
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