Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
Randomize
