you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
Randomize
