I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Randomize
