I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
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