He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
