New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Randomize
