I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
