either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
Randomize
