I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
I need a sign that says “please don’t make plans with me if I’ve had two or more drinks. I will regret them. I will have bitter feelings towards you. Then I will cancel and feel guilty.”
Randomize
