It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
Randomize
