one two three fourrrrnication!
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
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