Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
Randomize
