Pappa wants mamma naked
All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
Randomize
