What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
OH MY GOD I AM DYING. AS I WAS TEXTING I JUST BUMPED INTO A MOTHER FUCKING DEER. I AM SHAKING
Wait...Literally? You hit a deer...with your body?!
I PHYSICALLY RAN INTO IT. I FELT ITS WEIRD HAIR AND I EVEN APOLOGIZED CAUSE IT DINDT REGISTER THAT IT WASNT A PERSON. MORTIFIED.
Randomize
