I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
Randomize
