i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Randomize
