Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
Randomize
